The art of the dirty getaway Conflict |
Evilcraft |

How to flee your pursuers

This evilHow is one you might want to keep a copy of in your vehicle — it might just save your skin someday.

These real-life situations are not like the car chases in the movies, where typically the two forces remain in sight of one another most of the time and the editing shows that it is a matter of raw guts and skill to come up on top. Instead, you will find that most pursuits have the two (or more) contenders completely unaware of the whereabouts of the other, and the final outcome is mainly attributable to persistence, ability to sow confusion, and luck. So even if you feel that your pursuers are closing on your location, continue to press onward in hopes that the fog of unmanipulated reality will confuse them in the hour of their triumph.

Evil plotpoints

Plan ahead. If you know in advance that you will be prominently featured in a race for your life, you can make things a little easier by planting safehouses, weapons caches, hidden vehicles, and disguise kits in the area where you expect to be operating.
Know your vehicles. Some feature speed. Some have superior maneuverability. Some have neither (best to avoid these). Be sure to prepare a good assortment of conveyances with as much advance as you an manage, but be aware that during a lengthy pursuit, you must be alive to the possibility of other people's means of transport becoming available (through hire or theft).
Make a change. Are you tall, dark and imposing? You may have spent a great deal of treasure and a not inconsiderable amount of time honing your distinctive brand so that you become instantly recognizable by every passerby in the street, but when you are in full flight, this turns out to be more of a hindrance than an asset. Try a blonde wig, some Kabuki makeup, and leotards to throw them off your path. A wardrobe makeover, a willingness to drop some of the physical mannerisms, and perhaps a short spell of plastic surgery can all help make you blend in with the masses enough that only those instinctively keyed in on your presence will register that you have passed through.
Go where they ain't. Sometimes you'll encounter an overwhelming sense that they are herding you in a particular direction and you'll want to cross them up by making a break to the left or right. Be sure that if you do this you aren't running right into one of their flank attackers. This works even better if your new path sends you along a path that is either frightening, disgusting, or suicidal.
Cut the ties. Consider the situation: a person of interest is moving rapidly away from a pursuing army while accompanied by only one other — his loyal henchman of long standing. The odds that the two of them are going to end up both free and clear at some safe haven is about ten million to one against. Much more likely are the cases where the henchman sells out his employer in exchange for his own safety, or the master throws the underling to the dogs to buy time to secure his escape. When speed and security are needed, the disadvantages of the buddy system outweigh the advantages for most villains, so most authorities recommend going the solo route instead when things become dire.

Strokes of genius

Know your opponent. Study his psychology, his history, his resources, and his recent purchases. Go through his trash if necessary. Make sure that if you should meet, you won't be the one who is the most unprepared.
Keep up your spirits. When the other guys are closing in, it is especially important to maintain a cheerful outlook in the face of an unpleasant fate, so that your body will continue to perform at its utmost. Tell yourself that in this pursuit, if they fail to catch you, it is they who are the ones who are in trouble, not you.
Doppelgangers. What will your pursuers do if they suddenly find themselves on the trail of two of yourself, or better yet, of two dozen, who then scatter in all directions? Even if you don’t have precise clones at your disposal, you can sow considerable confusion simply by arranging to employ individuals of the same general build and the same attire, at least long enough to change back into something completely disparate. If your circumstances do not even allow that, you might be able to use the Hall of Mirrors ploy at least to dazzle the minds of your pursuers.

Traps for mere fools

The scene of the crime. Stay away, avoid it, just do not go there. Better yet, send your stunt double there instead while you go far, far away.
The significant other. Left your favorite paramour behind encased in titanium? Is your latest girl cooling her heels in liquid hydrogen? Let the superhero types go back for the dramatic rescue, as an evil genius, you stand more to lose from misplaced loyalty than you can ever gain.
Stacks of cardboard boxes in warehouses.
Stiletto heels.
Floors covered with marbles.
Hybrid bloodhounds/hellhounds.

Precious and needful

Magic invisibility dust.
Untraceable time travel vehicle.
Snacks. Also a little bit of money.
Grey fedora.
Nepali phrasebook.

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Further plotting

Image credit Escape by flakaffe on Zooomr
Image credit Fear of the Dark by stuant63
Image credit biker-armageddon by gpwarlow
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Created by: GrinningSkull. Last Modification: Thursday 11 of November, 2010 06:05:42 EST by GrinningSkull.

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