


Dragons have many virtues as mounts - impressive, fast, well-armed. But when sallying forth into a dangerous spot you may find its other qualities of stubbornness and pride a handicap. What to do when you find yourself committed to a path that is projected to lead to your doom, possibly of you both?
These are some suggestions which will apply in the great majority of cases when you find yourself in such a predicament, but of all creatures known and unknown, dragons are the ones that display the greatest individuality, so your results may vary somewhat from your expectations. Stay alert and keep an attitude that is prepared to adapt to a rapidly changing set of dimly understood challenges and you should do as well as can be expected.
Evil plotpoints
- Calm. The first impulse when riding a dragon which is either out of control or is plunging forward to some place one little desires to go is one of panic. Take a few deep breaths and visualize your happy place where you can place these concerns into their proper context. Only once you have mastered your emotions can you expect to make the finely tuned decisions needed to bring everything to a happy end.
- Link up. Unlike horses
, a dragon will never consent to hold a bit in its mouth (which would melt or burn up anyway). Instead use the more traditional means of communicating your intentions to your mount: telepathy, dragon-speech, human-speech, semaphore.
- Clear voice of reason. No matter how naturally shrill and domineering your personality is, try to explain the situation in non-threatening terms. Do not try to bully the brute or lie to it, which is a maneuver with a low probability of succeeding, and walk the fine line between conveying urgency and panic.
- Stick the landing. Once the dragon has come to a complete stop, it may be a long way down
. Although you may be loathe to jump off, given that you have just decided to bring a multi-ton vicious predator to a dead stop with you virtually in its grasp you may have a notion that the alternatives would be much worse.
Strokes of genius
- Saving face. Dragons are sensitive about appearances, as are supervillains. Try to suggest an alternate course in a way which preserves both of your dignities.
- Switchover. Sometimes the reason why you are in a hurry to hit the brakes is that your dragon mount has reached the end of his or her effectiveness, perhaps by a magical attack or simple fatigue. It is possible to perform the delicate velocity-matching feat of bringing a second, fresh dragon alongside and leap from the first to the second without killing yourself, but it is one which is best planned well in advance and subjected to as much practice as you can devote to it. Failing that, if you are forced to improvise and have hit upon this stragem as the least likely to do you arm, you may be assured that you are the target of our very best wishes.
Traps for mere fools
- Asian dragons. As these are typically magical and wise, the messenger of peace, good will, intelligence, generosity and compassion
, whereas you are no doubt evil to the core, it must be a dire situation for you to be riding one of these in the first place. Perhaps you are mounted against your will. If you speak the language of the dragon, explain how you bear the creature no malice and pose no threat, bearing only the greatest esteem and goodwill toward it, you might be able to persuade it to let you off. It helps to put on a pious look.
- The sharp end. Try to make your way down to the other end.
Precious and needful
- Sheep. Throw one down to distract the beast. Arrange to have a sheep hurled down where you want to be let off.
- Apparition spell. Best performed on dragons under a few centuries of age, this is chiefly useful when you project the image comely dragon of the opposite sex to yours (if it is hetero) so as to wipe the idea of your previous course clean out of its mind.
- Head protection.
Further plotting