As a serpent I take to the subject of how to grovel like a second skin. It's what we're all about, whether you take the Biblical origin story or the evolutionary one as fact. We're all down here on the ground as low as you can go, sometimes even under the ground in burrows, and anyone lording it over us like a boss has got to be pretty well-primed from the get-go that they can look forward to some quality self-abasement in attitude, not just in posture. But I have to tell all of you that all the rest of it, the phony compliments, the rapt attention, the slightly swoony way we hang on the object of our rapture's every word, all that has to be learned just the same way every other lackey has to. There are no cheap deals for the reptiles, as usual. Still, I have to be thankful that I've received my share of recognition for my prowess at kissing the linoleum among those who can recognize the accomplishment for what it is: the culmination of a life-long study of craft.

Veeper

It is so hard to get inspired to sit down and write up our little accounts of what is fundamentally such a simple affair, especially after these past several months of intrigue and desperation, base treachery mixed with meticulous maneuvering and a dash of transcendence now and then, which only seem to heighten the contrast between doing awful things and talking about them. Nonetheless it is a burden I have placed upon myself now for four seasons in full foreknowledge that whatever we provide here can only go less than fully appreciated by the swelling numbers of devotees attracted to these communications.

Despite all of one's best efforts at plotting and planning, the situation occasionally arises as to how one should pass one's time. Boredom is a significant adversary, especially when all the corporeal ones have been subdued or liquidated, and the seriousness of this adversary becomes greater the more advanced one becomes in perfecting one's villainy. So when one is shut in without any sort of frantic activity to occupy one's attention, the art of how to pass a rainy afternoon is one which the prudent fiend constantly practices. The more one can make the pursuit of evil effortless and the manifestation of villainy automatic the easier it becomes to call upon these skills when one is put to the actual test. It can be both a confidence-booster and a reality check to know that the niggling little details that swarm around a busy operation have already been taken care of, because most former evil geniuses report that it was the microscopic flaw in the routine execution of a plan that led to their demise.

Grinning Skull (friendfeed)

The powers that be wanted me to poke in here to let you know that we're going to be scarce for a while, with Season 3 all wrapped up. If there's a Season 4 it won't be until after we have spent a long time ruminating on this past one, with the staff changes and the flashes of drama and the cataclysmic outcome. Story for another time.

Veeper

There are times when the most faithful attempts to get something tangible out of a situation become all too apparent as failures. We have gathered the cleanest and least disruptive ways to cope with a monster whose utility to its author has plummeted is to understand the deep wisdom in the article How to destroy the thing you created. These tips apply both to human and non-human creations equally, for it is really the workings of the evil heart that is the seat of the difficulty so many have in letting go, despite the promptings of reason. The most damaging thing any evildoer can do is to cling to their failed creations in a way that undermines the rest of his or her operations, yet few henchmen or consorts will feel empowered to speak up about the situation, unwilling to give cause for offense, as the main villain's credibility slowly ebbs away. I am sorry to say that I myself have been witness to this sorry state of affairs with malefactors I have known, seeing that once the spiral has begun it is nearly impossible to reverse. If instead every active supervillain could take a little time to take stock of their prize monstrosities and assess whether the time to move on from reliance on them is come, small steps can be taken to restore balance, eliminate the negatives, and revitalize one's plotting long before the fatal degeneration can set in.

Grinning Skull (friendfeed)

Human beings have long known that on the overall scale of fearlessness in the face of a dangerous enemy, they rank rather low as compared to many other species. Combining terrifying ferocity with a nearly unbreakable devotion to the larger group, war dogs are pretty much unsurpassed in troop actions at close quarters. Whether it is on patrol duty, search missions, prison guard sentry outposts, occupying military police detail, or passing messages under fire, dogs have long been a part of organized inhumanity, adapting well to the hierarchical structure of military command while bringing their own peculiar talents to bear on the task at hand. The only real difference between these and your more humanoid minions ultimately lies in the kind of chow you need to have on hand between missions, as you can see from the tips we present.

Veeper