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One-dimensionality is for schmucks

practicalMost supervillains I have known imagined that their arrival on the scene would be seen as a spectacular outcome of a long, successful series of capers, as if the discovery of their awesomeness was both unavoidable and completely logical according to the rules the universe runs by, but they are just about always tripped up when anyone bothers to look into their claims of a lurid backstory that something just doesn't seem right, whether it is the way the light is cast in that photograph of them alongside Hitler, or the tale of their superhuman deeds told by supposed eyewitnesses who have that look that they're worried someone's out to get them. There was this one guy who went around claiming credit for having blown up the ancient library at Alexandria who would make something different up every time people started asking how he managed to transport his demolition crew through time and space and never get a line in the history books (he wasn't around too long in the modern times, at least not in one piece he wasn't), becoming ridiculous to a lot of folks in the supervillain community, not dreadful (not in the way he wanted). Everybody I talk to who sees these backstory trainwrecks goes on about how they would never fall into the same traps, that their level of deceit is worlds better than that, but the fact of the matter is that one of the things that the bad guys love to talk about, almost as much as the great big nasty thing they are responsible for doing, is how pathetic and conceited the other guys are, whoever isn't at the table at the time, and how their streak of luck is soon going to run out.

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