evilHow wiki http://www.evilhow.com/tiki-wiki_rss.php?ver=2 Thu, 09 Sep 2010 22:30:03 +0100 Tiki CMS/Groupware via FeedCreator 1.7.2.1 http://www.evilhow.com/img/tiki.jpg evilHow http://www.evilhow.com/tiki-index.php en-us Featured content http://www.evilhow.com/tiki-index.php?page=Featured+content .diffchar { color:red; } -
  1. How to write a ransom note StarLeave out the part about being a Nigerian prince+ >
  2. How to perform an emergency stop on a dragon StarWhoa there, Smaugette!
    >
  3. How to write a ransom note StarLeave out the part about being a Nigerian prince-
  4. How to raise a brood of vipers StarSssssss!!!]]> Veeper Thu, 09 Sep 2010 11:27:15 +0100 How to perform an emergency stop on a dragon http://www.evilhow.com/tiki-index.php?page=How+to+perform+an+emergency+stop+on+a+dragon .diffchar { color:red; } - /tiki-index.php?page=HomePage">show_image.php?id=1" border="0" width="15" height="180" align="left" /><span class=****" src="/pics/large/stock_about.png" border="0" width="50" height="50" align="left" />">http://farm1.static.flickr.com/22/34732427_60fff1f616_d.jpg" border="0" width="375" height="50" align="right" />>Dragons have many virtues as mounts - impressive, fast, well-armed. But when sallying forth into a dangerous spot you may find its other qualities of stubbornness and pride a handicap. What to do when you find yourself committed to a path that is projected to lead to your doom, possibly of you both?
    +     http://www.flickr.com/photos/26066055@N00/34732427/" target="_blank" title="Tokyo Dragon">ttp://farm1.static.flickr.com/22/34732427_60fff1f616_d.jpg" border="0" width="375" height="500" align="right" />">how_image.php?id=1" border="0" width="150" height="180" align="left" />><span class=****" src="/pics/large/stock_about.png" border="0" width="5" height="50" align="left" />Dragons have many virtues as mounts - impressive, fast, well-armed. Almost anyone can ride a dragon with minimal training and can experience both the thrill of soaring high above a battlefield or castle keep and the side benefits of economical and reliable transport. But when sallying forth into a dangerous spot you may find that coping with the usual dragon traits of stubbornness and pride to be handicaps, perhaps even fatal ones, especially when your normally dependable ride is impaired by sabotage, mechanical or biological difficulty, or psionic mind control. What are you to do when you find yourself committed to a path that is projected to lead to your doom, possibly of you both?
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    1. Calm. The first impulse when riding a dragon which is either out of control or is plunging forward to some place one little desires to go is one of panic. Take a few deep breaths and visualize your happy place where you can place these concerns into their proper context. Only once you have mastered your emotions can you expect to make the finely tuned decisions needed to bring everything to a happy end.
    2. Link up. Unlike horses (external link), a dragon will never consent to hold a bit in its mouth (which would melt or burn up anyway). Instead use the more traditional means of communicating your intentions to your mount: telepathy, dragon-speech, human-speech, semaphore.+
      1. Calm. The first impulse when riding a dragon which is either out of control or is plunging forward to some place one little desires to go is one of panic. Take a few deep breaths and visualize your happy place where you can place these concerns into their proper context. Take confidence in your ability to perform an emergency stop on a dragon in a critical situation and you will be able to conquer your fear of plunging toward the ground out of control in a flaming fireball.
      2. Link up. Unlike horses (external link), a dragon will never consent to hold a bit in its mouth (which would melt or burn up anyway). Instead use the more traditional means of communicating your intentions to your mount: telepathy, dragon-speech, human-speech, semaphore. Gently but firmly bring the dragon’s maw about until it is pointed towards its tail and it drops in airspeed.+
      3. The tried and true. Practice all emergency stops from a straight-on attitude for safety’s sake. Emergency air-braking performed during a turn will dramatically increase the chance that your dragon will go down and buck you out of the saddle. If the creature is gouting fire or other noxious emanation, take care not to direct it at yourself or at the delicate wings. If you are using stirrups, remove your feet from them if there is a likelihood that you will need to execute an emergency midair dismount.- <h3 class="showhide_heading" id="span_class_img_img_alt_src_http_evilhow_com_pics_icons_error_png_border_0_align_left_span_span_style_color_FFCC00_Strokes_of_genius_span_"> class="img">! Strokes of genius</h3>+
        +

        ! Strokes of genius

        -
      4. Switchover. Sometimes the reason why you are in a hurry to hit the brakes is that your dragon mount has reached the end of his or her effectiveness, perhaps by a magical attack or simple fatigue. It is possible to perform the delicate velocity-matching feat of bringing a second, fresh dragon alongside and leap from the first to the second without killing yourself, but it is one which is best planned well in advance and subjected to as much practice as you can devote to it. Failing that, if you are forced to improvise and have hit upon this stragem as the least likely to do you arm, you may be assured that you are the target of our very best wishes.+
      5. Look alert. Keep your eyes ahead of you and continue to steer during the maneuver, paying attention to what’s in front of you. While slowing down, maneuver to avoid heavy air traffic, missiles, and inconveniently placed terrain.
      6. Switchover. Sometimes the reason why you are in a hurry to hit the brakes is that your dragon mount has reached the end of his or her effectiveness, perhaps by a magical attack or simple fatigue. It is possible to perform the delicate velocity-matching feat of bringing a second, fresh dragon alongside and leap from the first to the second without killing yourself, but it is one which is best planned well in advance and subjected to as much practice as you can devote to it. Failing that, if you are forced to improvise and have hit upon this stratagem as the least likely to do you harm, you may be assured that you are the target of our very best wishes.
      7. Practice. You may go years without needing to employ this specialized technique in a true emergency, but you are advised drill yourself and your mount regularly to ensure that skill has not become rusty. If you are unsure of yourself or are working with a new dragon, start at low altitudes over hay bales and at moderate speeds, working your way up to more challenging scenarios until you feel that you can reproduce what you have learned practically instinctively.+
      8. Going it alone. While you are on the dragon’s back, you have some chance of remaining in control, however slim. If you become separated, besides the risk of getting injured from the fall, you may be in peril from the dragon breath, its talons, other flyers (friendly and not), and enemy action from the ground, all of which combine to make this an undesirable circumstance. If you do find yourself slipping free, try to re-establish contact with your mount and persuade it to work with you to a safe attitude.+
      9. Mind your tongue. In the heat of the moment, you may be tempted to swear or use harsh raised tones. Many dragonriders think that this is an effective method to release pent up energy and redirect angry emotions. Nothing can be further from the truth. While you must release your negative feelings, it does not help you to agitate a dragon undoubtedly sensitive to real and imagined slights, plus it is likely to displace your center from your place of calm. Speak to your dragon in a calm and collected manner, and reframe that destructive aura in a way that allows it to dissipate harmlessly instead.+
        +
      10. Small trees. Low vegetation can be an ideal way to shed unwanted speed in a controlled fashion. Try not to pick a tree that is too heavy for your dragon and you to pass through, and exercise extra care during times when forest fire risk is high.-

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      11. How to survive a road trip+
      12. How to stop time+
      13. How to sleep in peace]]> Veeper Thu, 09 Sep 2010 11:22:12 +0100 HomePage http://www.evilhow.com/tiki-index.php?page=HomePage .diffchar { color:red; } - The very latest wiki page is How to write a ransom note StarThe kidnapper always spellchecks twice
        + The very latest wiki page is How to write a ransom note StarLeave out the part about being a Nigerian prince
        ]]>         GrinningSkull Sun, 05 Sep 2010 15:46:23 +0100         All How-tos http://www.evilhow.com/tiki-index.php?page=All+How-tos .diffchar { color:red; } -
        1. How to write a ransom note StarThe kidnapper always spellchecks twice+
          1. How to write a ransom note StarLeave out the part about being a Nigerian prince]]> GrinningSkull Sun, 05 Sep 2010 15:45:17 +0100 How to write a ransom note http://www.evilhow.com/tiki-index.php?page=How+to+write+a+ransom+note .diffchar { color:red; } ]]> GrinningSkull Sun, 05 Sep 2010 15:40:02 +0100 How to rock an evil wardrobe http://www.evilhow.com/tiki-index.php?page=How+to+rock+an+evil+wardrobe .diffchar { color:red; } - href="/tiki-index.php?page=HomePage">1" border="0" width="150" height="180" align="left" />><span class=****" src="/pics/large/stock_about.png" border="0" width="50" height="50" align="left" />http://evilhow.com/show_image.php?id=32" border="0" width="190" height="544" align="right" /> It may come as a surprise that naked people invariably do badly as supervillains. Monsters, maybe, but not as the big headliner. It is because of the element of the expectation set up in the mind of your victims and pursuers, not to mention your underlings, placing a premium on the ability to dress to dominate, horrify, and intimidate.
            + <img alt="****" src="/pics/large/stock_about.png" border="0" width="50" height="50" align="left" />an>http://evilhow.com/show_image.php?id=32" border="0" width="176" height="500" align="right" />>

            >">            how_image.php?id=1" border="0" width="150" height="180" align="left" />><span class=****" src="/pics/large/stock_about.png" border="0" width="50" height="5" align="left" />It may come as a surprise that naked people invariably do badly as supervillains. Unclothed monsters, maybe, or the odd henchperson, but almost never as the big headliner. This is partly because of the expectation one’s garb sets up in the mind of potential victims and adversaries, communicating non-verbally the essence of the villainy in question and placing a premium on the ability to dress to dominate, horrify, and intimidate. Partly too it ends up being a measure of the effectiveness of the individual’s beastly activities over time, since the most efficient evildoers can afford the nicest outfits for themselves and for their associates.
            - If you are looking for the look of power and success, you should start with the question of who you are. Then go on to the one of what you trying to do, and where you are going now, and how do you think you are going to do that, and pretty soon you get to the one about whether you are actually going out there dressed like that. Not good. So let us try to nip that in the bud right at the outset, shall we?
            + If you are looking for the look of power and success, you should start with the question of who you are, getting really deep down at the core of things. Then go on to the one of what you trying to do, and where you are going now, and how do you think you are going to do that, and pretty soon you get to the one about whether you are actually going out there dressed like that. Not good. So let us try to nip this dreadful line of interrogation in the bud right at the outset and lay down some commonsense basics that apply to everyone.
            -
            1. Know your fit. Loose or formfitting? Note that there are special problems for shapeshifters, energy beings, and invisible beings which are too specific to address here.
            2. Materials. Balance the desired qualities with practicality. Good: leather, fabric, animal pelts, metal, synthetic materials. Problematic: paper, wax, slime, seawater, fiber optics, smoke. Poor: emery boards, nettles, cotton candy, elemental hydrogen.
            3. Your color palette. Black is almost always a safe choice, but a few well-thought-out accents will make your presentation more memorable. Colors that clash and patterns that fight one another are basic motifs you can incorporate into your branding.+
              1. Know your fit. Start with the basic lines you are seeking to establish as a silhouette, then build up the layers and details going up from there. Should you go with a loose look or one that is formfitting? Much can be said for each, both for males and for females seeking to capture that one diabolic aura that suits their body type and age bracket. Note that there are special fitting problems for shapeshifters, energy beings, and invisible beings which are too specific to address here.
              2. Outrage and incite. Here is your chance to stir things up with what you put on, challenging the boundaries and social norms in much the same way your dirty deeds transgress societal dictates. Keep an open mind and pay no heed the assumption that your costumes must make you look good so you are able to concentrate upon shock and showmanship. You will need to understand the current fashion trends so as to play off of them yourself and subvert them. So if you are a guy and design a wardrobe based upon frilly shirts like those of a seventeenth century dandy, or a buxom woman and favor the cutaway look in latex, in either case brandishing the means by which you intend to carry out your evil ways, you have communicated your commitment to yourself in a way more powerful than any words on parchment might be able to do. In many cases, the impact will come not from any single wardrobe element but from the edgy juxtaposition of coordinating items as they each pull the look in a particular direction.
              3. Materials. Balance the desired qualities conveying your message with issues of comfort and practicality. Good: leather, fabric, animal pelts, metal, synthetic materials. Problematic: paper, wax, slime, seawater, fiber optics, smoke. Poor: emery boards, nettles, cotton candy, elemental hydrogen.
              4. Contrast. A stone golem can get away with a single unified surface treatment. Most others, on the other hand, need to have more variety of color, texture, and weight to keep the eye satisfied. Evil supervillains who tend toward the gaudy end of fashion sense straight into the realm of the shocking actually have all sorts of advantages over the plebeian masses and the do-gooders who suffer when they stray much too far off the conventional standards.+ ”TRF
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              5. Accessorize. Simple yet significant details which draw attention to themselves yet harmonize with your overall look can clinch the top evildoer's fashion rating. It can be something as dainty as the waft of pheromone that lingers in the wreckage you leave behind, or as bold as the hideous emblem at the tip of your powered battering ram, but it must say something about what you think about yourself.+
              6. Accessorize. Simple yet significant details which draw attention to themselves yet harmonize with your overall look can clinch the top evildoer's fashion rating. A stunning choker or a compelling pair of boots could be the item that immortalizes your presence in the minds of your viewers. It can be something as dainty as the waft of pheromone that lingers in the wreckage you generate, or as bold as the hideous emblem at the tip of your powered battering ram, but it must say something about what you think about yourself.
              7. Color coordinate. Black isn't the only color that exists in the villanous spectrum, contrary to what some dreary fiends would have you believe. Maroons, purples, indigos, vermilions, and metallic sheens are often used as complements to a dark palette, with accents provided by screaming neon riot splashes. If you tend to have lots of blinking light gadgetry around your person, try to echo some of those notes in your clothing.
              8. Stay ahead of the curve. It takes time, proof of menace, and history, not just a armoire full of strange outfits, before a villain can be declared a fashion icon by the world at large. Ideally by the time this happens, you will have moved on to the next outlandish concept in order to maintain your reputation for daring and vision.-
                • Telltales. A bulge around the waist revealing a belt of hand grenades is too often the sign of an inexperienced villain. Before you take your costume live, consider having an impartial observer take a look at it and try to assess your threat profile.
                • Unintended consequences. Similarly, the cape of stainless steel mesh may seem like a fine idea at your tailor's, but prove to be a liability when the jingles and buzzes that come with your every movement foil your attempts at stealth. The old gag that goes "I had an invisibility suit but I set it down someplace and can't tell where" is closer to the truth than you might think. And the crown of lightning really ought to be tested for its compatibility in proximity to computer equipment before you walk into your accountant's office. Take a fresh eye to your wardrobe once all the pieces have been assembled and try to see whether they work well in your intended application.+
                  • Telltales. Whatever you do with your look, do not allow it to conflict with your main mission. Before you take your costume live, consider having an impartial observer take a look at it and try to assess your threat profile. An embarrassing bulge around the waist revealing a belt of hand grenades is too often the sign of an inexperienced villain.
                  • Unintended consequences. Similarly, the cape of stainless steel mesh may seem like a fine idea at your tailor's, but prove to be a liability when the jingles and buzzes that come with your every movement foil your attempts at stealth. The old gag that goes "I had an invisibility suit but I set it down someplace and can't tell where" is closer to the truth than you might think. And the crown of lightning really ought to be tested for its compatibility in proximity to computer equipment before you step into your accountant's office. Take a fresh eye to your wardrobe once all the pieces have been assembled and try to see whether they work well in your intended application.
                  • Obstructed vision. Do be careful with the cheaper grades of mask with the weak elastic that tends to slip out of place. Also keep in mind that a spooky cowl will have an effect on your peripheral vision.
                  • Hazardous footwear. Insufficiently broken-in, unwieldy, or toxic shoes should be saved for occasions where you can be relatively immobile and sedentary, not in the midst of pitched battle.-

                    + Precious and needful

                    +

                    + Precious and needful

                    +
                  • Money. Or a way to get the trinkets you need to have in the absence of money.-

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                  • Image credit TRF October 2005 (external link) by Michael Bird TX (external link)]]> CapellaNovafyre Thu, 02 Sep 2010 10:51:20 +0100 How to steal an ocean liner http://www.evilhow.com/tiki-index.php?page=How+to+steal+an+ocean+liner .diffchar { color:red; } ]]> CapellaNovafyre Thu, 02 Sep 2010 02:42:38 +0100 How to get the most from a bottomless pit http://www.evilhow.com/tiki-index.php?page=How+to+get+the+most+from++a+bottomless+pit .diffchar { color:red; } -
                    - ‘’Dig, dig, dig’’
                    - ‘’Goodbye down theeeeeeeeeeeeeere!’’
                    - Marvi
                    - I understand that even tiny children unable to speak properly already possess a well-developed fear of falling, so deep-seated is this phobia in the human midbrain, so we have put together an article describing the very best way to exploit this weakness: How to get the most from a bottomless pit?. The concept is simplicity itself, being nothing more than a lack of adequate flooring, more or less, yet I have seen such a number of otherwise perfectly horrific bottomless pits marred by faulty presentation on the parts of their owners. One I remember well was a three meter wide stainless steel sided tube that was surrounded by an undistinguished expanse of no-wax flooring that simply looked cheap. Another had the faint but oddly persistent odor around it of freshly baked rolls. And yet another, one of considerable vintage no less, seemed to have fallen into the clutches of a band of government regulators, with brightly colored catwalks, railings, and signage accreted onto its artificially straightened sides. The impact of a bottomless chasm should be imparted onto the first-time viewer’s mind within moments after seeing it, not having to battle against a host of wholly irrelevant associations and stylistic imbecilities.
                    - A truly noble shaft descending into the uttermost depths should have a certain grandeur of its own, as it seems to suck the bystander down on its own. This is why it is the preferred design element within the scene when a swordfight needs to break out or a rope bridge needs to be traversed. It should not be necessary to decorate it to draw attention to its significance — indeed, sometimes the most effective bottomless pits have been rendered invisible through sorcery.
                    - Grinning Skull (friendfeed (external link))
                    -
                    - Evilcraft
                    - Style
                    - Minions
                    -
                    - ‘’Turns out, a yawning chasm is contagious’’
                    -



                    Pozo
                    + o en el Patio del Cortijo Jurado">Poz<span class=o en el Patio del Cortijo Jurado" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3053/2703016761_2fa6040462_d.jpg" border="0" width="500" height="333" align="right" />
                    -
                    • Image credit IMG_1285.jpg (external link) by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/g_e/">g|e</a>+
                      • Image credit IMG_1285.jpg (external link) by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/g_e/">g|e</a>-
                      • Forum (external link)+
                      • amp;topics_sort_mode=lastPost_desc&amp;forumId=1" rel="external">Forum (external link)]]> GrinningSkull Sun, 29 Aug 2010 14:30:36 +0100 How to raise a brood of vipers http://www.evilhow.com/tiki-index.php?page=How+to+raise+a+brood+of+vipers .diffchar { color:red; } - <a href="/tiki-index.php?page=HomePage"></span>show_image.php?id=1" border="0" width="15" height="180" align="left" />><span class=****" src="/pics/large/stock_about.png" border="0" width="50" height="50" align="left" /><span class=With friends like these..." src="http://static.zooomr.com/images/777785_a15b813054.jpg" border="0" width="375" height="50" align="right" />Nothing quite says evil like a mess of venomous serpents. From time immemorial they have guarded their dens with venom and fury, daring the unwary to step over the line of reptilian retribution. Evil powers have long admired the viper's legless slither through the smallest of openings in search of live prey, their hypnotic slit-eye gaze, and their ability to bask in the noonday sun without burning.
                        + <img alt="With friends like these..." src="http://static.zooomr.com/images/777785_a15b813054.jpg" border="0" width="375" height="500" align="right" />>

                        >">how_image.php?id=1" border="0" width="150" height="180" align="left" />><span class=****" src="/pics/large/stock_about.png" border="0" width="5" height="50" align="left" />                        Nothing quite says evil like a mess of venomous serpents. From time immemorial they have guarded their dens with venom and fury, daring the unwary to step over the line of reptilian retribution. Evil powers have long admired the viper's legless slither through the smallest of openings in search of live prey, their hypnotic slit-eye gaze, their scaliness, and their ability to bask in the noonday sun without burning. They enjoy an advantage over other predators who merely bite and rend the flesh: the agony of dying from poison delivered through disturbingly graphic fangs is nearly an archetypal phobia. Modern villains eager to associate themselves with this nightmare from well before the dawn of the human race need only take a few common-sense measures when putting together a first-class viper breeding operation.
                        -
                        1. Itty bitty snakey eggs. Keep 'em warm, do not eat 'em, watch the little critters hatch (external link). Or if you go for the livebearing sort, a nice incubator might be in order.
                        2. Pen them in. Give them lovely dark places to hide and some succulent <a class="wiki external" target="_blank" href="http://blip.tv/file/1188375/" rel="external">live prey to eata><img border="0" class="externallink" src="img/icons/external_link.gif" alt=" (external link)" />.+
                          1. Itty bitty snakey eggs. There are just a few requirements for successful viper husbandry: Keep 'em warm, don't eat 'em, watch the little critters hatch (external link). Or if you go for the livebearing sort, a nice incubator might be in order.
                          2. Pen them in. Give your snakes some lovely dark places to hide within their enclosure. You can use hollow chests, clay idols, abandoned vehicles, or a small mausoleum to create the nooks and hiding spots they desire. the optimum temperature is 80 to 85 degrees Fahrenheit during the day and at night a minimum of 75 degrees. There should be an adequate basking area for your snakes, fresh water, and proper humidity. You may also want to provide an emergency egress for the use of the snake wranglers when things get dicey.
                            /></li>
                          3. pan style="color:#FF00CC;">Training.</span> If you want your vipers to be aggressive, teach them to fear and hate humans early on so the lessons will stick. When they are hungry, encourage them to strike at stand-ins for intruders, being careful not to allow them to damage their <a title="Wow them with a winning grin." href="tiki-index.php?page=How+to+sport+fangs" class="wiki">fangs</a>. Vipers are highly sensitive to vibration and you can also train them to swarm over those entering their compound on foot or to pursue them in water, by providing the proper sort of reinforcement.+ Chaos green Copperhead logo
                            +
                          4. Cleanliness. It is important to make sure your viper pen is maintained properly both for the health of your reptiles and for the best presentation quality. A plastic window which is dusty and has been marred by victims attempting to claw their way out can obscure the view enough to impair your enjoyment of your brood, so this should be replaced periodically. Viper droppings should be removed by hand (possibly robotic) and composted before using in the garden.+
                          5. The family way. Over time your vipers will begin to breed upon their own, assuming they have not been spayed or neutered. Encourage your best specimens to pair up thus improving the overall quality of your stock. Acquire unrelated vipers among fellow enthusiasts to bring in traits you want them to have, in exchange for your own prized individuals. Vipers are not rapid breeders typically, so patience and persistence are the best ways to ensure success.-
                            • Incompatibilties.Be careful to avoid keeping snakes and phoenixes together.+
                              • Incompatibilities.Be careful to avoid keeping snakes and phoenixes together. Also, if you have both large and small vipers in the same enclosure, make sure there are adequate places for the little ones to escape to lest they succumb to predation.+
                              • Pestilence. When introducing new stock, quarantining is a wise practice and will save the python rancher a good bit of heartache. Besides diseases such as salmonella, mites and other parasites may inadvertently be brought in to a pristine collection and prove to be difficult and costly to eradicate.-

                                + Precious and needful

                                -